Nobody really plans for divorce when they get married. The habits that lead to divorce often creep up unannounced and burrow into daily life. It’s not until these habits build to a breaking point—their combined weight too much to hold up any longer—that divorce becomes inevitable. By that point, it’s often too late; the damage to the relationship is done, and nothing will fix it.
We can, as spouses, be on the lookout for these unhealthy habits that lead to divorce in ourselves and perhaps even stop them from crawling into our lives through conscious effort and communication with our spouses.
Want to maintain a strong marriage that you can celebrate? Be aware of these four bad habits:
Always Being Selfish
Nobody blames you for taking some time for yourself. You’ve got to be selfish sometimes to maintain your mental and physical health, but if you’re always putting your own needs over those of your husband or wife, you could be doing irreparable damage to your relationship.
Letting Resentment Fester
If your spouse does something that hurts your feelings or puts your self-worth in question, talk to them about it. Either they will listen and try not to hurt you again, or they will act like you are making too big of a deal out of the situation—at which point, you might begin to see that things aren’t going to work out. But the important thing to remember is that letting resentment fester will only lead to more pain and pressure, and at some point, you might explode at your spouse. It’s not a healthy way to deal with conflict.
Not Being Present in the Moment
It’s easy to become distracted today. We are constantly connected—our smartphones are an addiction. Whether you’re on a date or just spending time at home with your spouse, you should make sure that you’re fully present, especially if you have to fight for time together. Work can wait. That news article isn’t going away. Put down the phone and try to connect with your husband or wife instead.
Mishandling the Money
Of all the habits that lead to divorce, making poor money decisions is perhaps the most damaging. Money is difficult to talk about, especially when you’re coming up short on the month’s bills. But being transparent about expenses and talking about where the money needs to go can literally save your marriage. Communicate before making a big purchase. Remember that when you get married, it’s no longer only your money. Your decisions affect both you and your spouse, as well as your children if you have any.
Do you recognize any of these habits that lead to divorce in your marriage?
No one ever said marriage was going to be easy. But being open and communicating often can make it easier. If you notice that you or your spouse have any of these habits, it’s time to have a talk.
If you can’t reconcile with your partner, set up a consultation or call us today to go over your options. 305-441-9530