A divorce during any holiday can feel like a storm on the horizon, but it may especially feel difficult during out-of-school breaks like Spring Break or Easter Break. But if planned correctly, at-odd parents can overlook their differences to create great memories during these times. And while holidays can be special for adults, they are especially important for children, of which are easily shaped by their early experiences. Even if you don’t celebrate certain holidays, the time off from school is often important, and that time with parents — holidays or not — will stick out the most in a child’s memory. This is why we as parents should be making the best connections and impressions on them.

Planning, planning, planning can’t be stressed enough!

Before the holiday rush begins and days crammed with last minute preparation take over, get visiting days figured out! Being finicky over who gets who on which day while being stressed out and overwhelmed by upcoming plans and preparations can end in nasty bickering. And while the bickering may not take place in front of the children, it can definitely dampen your mood and provide a less cheerful interaction with your kids.

Make sure you have set days planned out and you are sure about which days you are taking custody to prevent any confusion. Choose specific pick-up and drop-off times that are convenient for both you and your ex-spouse, and make sure you stick to your chosen time! Accountability for being on time will further make your holiday much more pleasant and organized. Finger-pointing and blaming over tardiness or neglect is not possible with this approach!

Positive, conscious communication between parents is connected to happier children.

Communication is still key, even after a marriage is over. This may have not been the strongest skill for parents prior to a divorce, however, keeping open communication free of hurtful language will go a very long way. Putting aside pent-up emotions and petty thoughts is being an adult your kids can look up to. Instead of dirt slinging and trying to prove you’re the better parent, focus on the kids. Talk about their developments and their growth the entire time. Experience their joy during the holiday.

Keep conversation centered on your children’s happiness. This will create a cohesive environment that is less turbulent and full of warmth. In the end, you’ll look back with a smile.

Leave the new boyfriend/girlfriend at (their) home.       

As fun as it might be to show off a new accessory, introducing an entirely new person to already difficult family dynamics is akin to fanning the flames of an emotionally intense environment. Choose a better time to bring someone in, unless she or he was formally known within the family circle and already familiar to your children or ex-partner. This isn’t to baby a partner or to tiptoe around for the sake of hurting someone’s feelings, but it keeps the situation calm and child-friendly. And it shows your children, no matter what age they are, that respect is key to any relationship — even ones that have ended in divorce.

If you care about your kids, you won’t compete with your ex-spouse.

Bringing gifts for your kids on certain holidays should be well-planned with your ex-partner. Do not deliberately show off to be the “better parent” by buying extravagant gifts that a child may already have. Remember, you should be thinking of your children, not provoking the other parent in a negative way to create tension and a potentially bad reaction. Try to purchase a gift you know your ex-spouse won’t be purchasing, and make sure he or she is clear on it as well. This will provide a cohesive environment for celebrating together as a family.

Whether you’re celebrating the upcoming spring holidays or not, navigating the school break will still require great care and conscious communication. As parents, you set the example, and putting aside your differences will mean much more than re-creating difficult situations and arguments. Your children, in the end, will respect you even more and remember as an adult how great their childhood was.

If you’re in the throes of a divorce or are separated with the intention of seeking a divorce, our attorneys can help. We have co-parenting coordinators in our office that work with you and your family to find ways to consciously communicate and co-parent, especially for situations like holidays and school breaks, to lessen the negative impact on your children.

Call today:  305 441-9530