It’s understandable to think that since we are family law attorneys who have handled lots of divorce cases we might be disillusioned by the current state of marriage. The truth is, however, that we know better than anyone how to stay married. Being involved in this area of law has given us a unique perspective. If anything, we see through the trappings of marriage to its core, to what makes a good marriage work and what makes some marriages fall apart.
We’ve heard all the reasons for divorce, from infidelity to the slow drifting apart that sometimes happens. What all our experience has shown us is that there are some fundamental truths for making a marriage work. If you’re wondering how to stay married, these three tips are a good place to start looking to see what’s not working.
Reinvent Yourself and Your Relationship
Divorce allows many people to reinvent themselves. Free from what they saw as a constraining relationship, they are finally able to be what they want to be. But if your relationship has lost its spark, don’t wait until after you and your partner sign the documents to make a transformation.
So, reinvent what it means to be you with your partner. Collaborate to redefine your relationship. You never know what might happen.
It’s impossible to say how many times we’ve had people in our office who wanted to get divorced because they had stopped communicating effectively. There are too many. When this happens, neither spouse knows what the other wants or needs. When you get married, you marry a person for their specific traits.
It’s true that people change, but each of us have qualities that define us. Search for those qualities, those things that made you root for your partner in the past. If you have any doubts about what is going on in your partner’s life, ask them to be painfully honest with you.
See the Best in Yourself and Your Partner
One thing that people need to do when they are contemplating how to stay married and whether to get divorced is to think about what the best version of themselves would do. Insofar as there is a right decision to make, that’s where they will find it. Staying together and divorce are both difficult decisions to make, and both of them require work. It’s not going to be easy, either way. Envisioning yourself in both scenarios can help make you see things clearer.
If you’re asking how to stay married, it might be too late
We see people make the difficult decision to divorce more than most people. From what we’ve seen, even asking about how to stay married is an indication that it might be too late.
If you’re thinking of filing for divorce, we are here to help you through the process. Contact the compassionate attorneys at AM Law today to go over your case.